vigil 

in the morning, i light a candle

and today i asked for guidance

i asked for help because of anger i felt underneath it all

anger over injustice

anger for the lie that we are hopeless

that we are few

that “this is just the way the world is”

no

when you look at me you may hear no words

but it’s not because i have none

it’s not because i’m giving up or giving in

it’s not because i believe that the future is hopeless

i turn to guidance

and what comes out is patience

is love

is deep listening

is holding of space with the anger and hurt that i and my loved ones feel

pain

but don’t take that as complacency

and don’t take that as the end of the conversation

this and everything before is remembered

but i choose to work towards balance with an open heart

with love

because what the lies are scared of is the solid ground we stand on

the lies and fear have power, sure

but there is something else

something greater

and it will never die

it will never die

it will never die

the shapes in the blue hallway

blue hallway with golden light streaming through

shapes dance on the ground

the geometric outlines of truth

a patterned wall

light filters through see-through paper

like gauze it drapes down 

a veil between worlds

and in this cavernous space

no one is seen

all is shape

and light

and colors of all kinds imaginable

sometimes drifting figments pass by each other

a whisper to each other

and the night is timeless

as a candle glimmers

as the light flickers

as blue and deep green

flood into the hall

refreshing

cooling

space

with a shift in time

and that’s when sparkles from nowhere 

like fireflies

come into view

night lights

bright lights flash by in the darkness

candle flickers from a single flame

warm of the glow i can feel it from here

meanwhile a million blinking red and yellow lights pass over my eyes

flickering like waving — not on and off

like a sometimes faltering balance

like taking your time

like stumbling through your words but moving forward anyway

and the red and yellow lights blink their location with the midnight

within the inky sky

and as if i could take the words from the clouds and form them into something meaningful

something that would hit, pierce and would resonate

that ah ha moment when the parts came together on their own

everything just right as darkness lifts a corner of the sky like purple-blue blanket with shiny specks of light

red and yellow turning around

fading in and out

to a pulse

like shimmer

like a candle dancing

like a wonder

then stillness amidst the moment 

then stillness

and then

still