in the day to day

i heard it said once 

that we are a mixture of dark and light

that what matters is the choice we make

in any given moment

and it’s a careful balance 

day by day

to walk this line

where at any given time 

we could falter

but i like to think that

even from mistakes

we can learn

and even when we fail

there is the promise of recovery

and that in retaining 

the memory 

the intention 

we have the capacity 

to do tremendous good

and sometimes

in some small way

we do that

and people support us

and sometimes

we reveal where we are afraid

and people help us 

they say it’s okay

they say this because they believe in us

and they see the goodness 

that comes from an open heart

and those are the people

i’m glad to have by my side

in the day to day 

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vigil 

in the morning, i light a candle

and today i asked for guidance

i asked for help because of anger i felt underneath it all

anger over injustice

anger for the lie that we are hopeless

that we are few

that “this is just the way the world is”

no

when you look at me you may hear no words

but it’s not because i have none

it’s not because i’m giving up or giving in

it’s not because i believe that the future is hopeless

i turn to guidance

and what comes out is patience

is love

is deep listening

is holding of space with the anger and hurt that i and my loved ones feel

pain

but don’t take that as complacency

and don’t take that as the end of the conversation

this and everything before is remembered

but i choose to work towards balance with an open heart

with love

because what the lies are scared of is the solid ground we stand on

the lies and fear have power, sure

but there is something else

something greater

and it will never die

it will never die

it will never die