#6

i don’t care who gets the ring

who wears it

who has the lamps and the cleaning supplies and

don’t you know there are hearts now everywhere?

like the kind that said hellooooo

and after a long yawn

and that the stuff is no longer here

i don’t care

split it a million ways and could all be moved to the garbage dump

swimming in the Pacific gyre

sea of memories of times when they just sat

or spoke to tell story

and my heart goes up up

up up

rate goes up up

up

increase the value of the living beings i once (still do?) knew

as each inch of carpet is dissected like delicacy

everything has it’s price

but it won’t bring them back

neither will the picture frame

the desk

The vacuum

neither will the claims and tears and arguments of what a human heart is capable of feeling

that she didn’t have a limit on how much she put out

as did he

as did she

as did all of them

and my blood boils when i think of how we devour the unimportance of

what’s left

dilated and honed in pupils my heart beats at rebellious pace

to high pitched scream

in order to be grounded once again

in the midst of this greedy confusion

i hate

talking

about

this stuff

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heat for the pain

the heat makes the pain go away

deep on the other side of the skull

brain pounding 

tightening

with heat it cracks open

millions of stars come outside

in between the lines

the crags and cracks

steam rising

boiling off ache

the pain subsides

it doesn’t become painful to exhale

nothing deep within the nose

or as if something crawling on the back of the skull

hard to reach 

it’s dissapated

no longer sensing the tremendous pressure

as if someone closed their hands on either side above the ears

and squeezed

eye socket feels like nothing 

not like burrowing 

the heat permeates deeply

it smooths

it blankets

it releases

it quells 

it relieves

and upon regaining awareness 

consciousness 

the pain

the ache is gone

at least for a while

and it’s goid to be whole in those moments 

to make right

ache deep within

that permeates to the bones

an ache that will be released

deepness of the pain

but there is relief

the sinews soothed

the muscles

the cords unraveled

smoothed

and with this restoration

even stronger

connectedness to parts unlinked

sigh

exhale 

as you let go

deeper into the heart

deeper to meet the pain 

face to face

meeting it

to make right

new thoughts

an ache that releases

a pit deep seated and stuck

a mark way down 

hidden in between and under

in the center

an ache that releases

a light in a dark space

a dimness that becomes bright over time

like something flipped on a switch

an ache that releases

and with it 

tremendous movement comes

like a swirling tide

opening up possibility 

to new worlds

new lives

and as the stars settle into their places

moon shining bright overhead

and the birds cooing softly

as night drifts on

broken

body aches and cracks into a million pieces

spilling onto the ground like shards of glass

and feet nearby dangerously close

to stepping on it

cutting

like skin

puncture

wound to the soul

and deep inside the body

are all these linkages and connections

but we gotta go the long way now

since we’re blocked over here snd over there

like people walking for miles to get to work and back again

even breath feels thin

feels invasive

feels not deep enough

feels like a cursory glance

and all you want is the chance to move freely again