what i really mean to say

yea…

i think most of the time 

you’re not going to understand anything i’m talking about

this is me reflecting my experience 

which is only slightly annoying 

only slightly annoying because it’s slightly disappointing 

only slightly disappointing because i suppose i just assume too much 

i only assume too much –

like i’ve got high expectations 

i suppose –

because i think we can do better 

that’s not a bad statement 

or even something to feel really ashamed about

it’s not a harsh judgement 

it’s like 

hey we can be better

it seems like a true starement

but i could be wrong

which is why when you don’t understand me 

it’s like huh 

how ’bout that…

well maybe i’m not saying this in a way that truly resonates

little things that seem like givens aren’t givens

i guess

it’s the strangest feeling

and you feel lonely about it occasionally 

because maybe what you’re trying to communicate is too hard to understand 

too complicated 

maybe it’s way too out there

or implies that you are disconnected with reality

and i think hey that’s possible

anything’s possible 
but then i’m like well some of this stuff i believe in or push people on

it’s good stuff

i think…

what if it’s more like —

we both can be better

like emphasize the we

that’d make it more palatable right

like because then i’m underlining

or maybe italicizing the important words to emphasize my intent

my intent beyond the words

because the words themselves can stand for so much

can signify one thing to you

another thing to me

something else to this person and-

ah fuck this 

words do not communicate what you would like them to

do they

or maybe can you be hopeful 

that if you talk around it 

and alternatively get closer and farther away from

Meaning

that folks kinda get it

like looking through a crack in a fence

at a beautiful garden

i mean the garden’s nice, guys

i’m just saying…

words of the day

here’s something else

here is a set of words to amuse you

to make you smile

they are arranged in a particular order

they sound good backwards 

they look good upside

people get confused and look at you sideways 

words don’t care about space

words do what they want go where they want

sometimes they jump into water

they dive deep down under

words emerge in the sunlight

they rest

they snore

they turn to the side

these ones are pretty clever

they’re ambidextrous 

they forget meaning

they sound it out sometimes

some words are like really cool words

they have so much style 

they have so much grace

words get hot and they gotta cool off

words gotta take a walk

words better not say what they’d like to say

words stew and think of what they’d like to say

words

what they really mean to say

these words

they have trouble articulating

they think no one will hear them

they don’t know their weight

they don’t know their effect

these words get nervous about the public eye

these words invent places to go

they invent scenarios

these words take it back

they are reflective

they pierce like a moonbeam

they make other words go 

wow will you look at that?

these words find joy

words that laugh

words that laugh at stupid jokes

at puns

words that smile across the page 

these words are heartfelt 

these words are meaningful 

they mean everything 

these are the words of the day