#25

re birth re emergence

i see you have taken the form of the rabbits outside

and the cormorant outside also seems familiar

a goose held my gave a little longer than was comfortable the other day

a deer walked on my path

a hawk swooped in front of our car

i hear the tapping of a woodpecker outside and i knew

a school of fish in the local pond seems to be quite charmed when i look overhead

in never seems to fail that a fly lands on me when i practice tai chi outside

(which i find rather fitting in a way)

and sometimes i see a rainbow right when i need it

each instance takes my breath away for just a second

and i think maybe you all have been here before, haven’t you?

so i’m grateful to my guiding friends

who seem to pop up most unexpectedly

 

 

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#24

the biting air spews from my mouth like lava

no one look at me i will look at no one

i cast my eyes askew down not meeting another

it would prove to be fatal

the onlooker sees a glimpse of me in the shadows

they depart

they shrink

i walk through

i will not stop

even the hotness inside can’t be bottled up

raging to the surface

and they run for cover

they are afraid

of my words

and when my eyes are set

they will not feel welcome

and i will be in peace

no, alone

though in solitary confinement

at least there’s only the mind’s judgement

 

#20

time on my hands
got plans
no.
sound of rain
against my window
pain is slowly, slowly driving me insane
i’m going down
my whole world’s turning upside down
sleep don’t come easy
please believe me
today everything’s going wrong
yesterday was golden
tomorrow will it be better?
i can’t stop these tears from falling from my eyes
i’m in love of course
but what’s going on?
do i try to hard?
whispers telling me of patience
i’m so blue
sorry…
please forgive me
i need a home
i’m so tired

#23

 

instal

to be in a state of stability

also refers to lukewarm sea water that has a refreshing quality

opposite would be exstal, which has to do more with questioning your existential position

 

enfix

when you try to fix or adjust something but it’s not quite done

to be half-finished

also when you join together a two parts that don’t go together according to the directions but somehow it worked anyway

 

aberration

an extremely chilly state

specifically so cold that it gives you the shivers and you want nothing to do with it

also refers to the state where after an immediate chill you gain insight or an idea

 

#22

soft new hands

eyes that dance and fix their gaze

i’m not sure what to call you

what do i have to give you?

will you enjoy the things i do or find them embarrassing?

you have a waddle-kind-of run

it’s like the ducks you enjoy pointing at

i’m not sure if i’m too much of a nit-picker

perhaps that makes me not ready

perhaps it’s why you aren’t here

i am doing a series of challenges to show you though

i’m not sure if they are building the skills you want to see in me

i guess you should know i cry a lot

i maybe get more upset at inconsequential things than i really should

i’d like to explore the little wonders with you

i wish i could see you

and know your name

and what you’re like

 

 

#21

we use koa wood to build our space for strength

and glass like smooth water tinted aquamarine for transparency

our garden rooted in place by the gifts we wish to give

our hearts created the foundation

the scaffolding rises higher than we can imagine

our dreams like an open window to the sky

our vision like a fireplace enveloping warmth

we search long and hard

and we waited

and waited

for the perfect place

it changes with us and understands how we shape our bodies

to fit the couch

and a bright ukulele strums as sunlight follows

welcoming those to this eclectic land

where a simple calm smile is paradise

and we walk among the spring tulips

the little rabbits and watch as the cat ducks find respite along the water

#18

how can i talk about the love of a non-parent?

how can i describe the absent feeling of want and need

the uncertainty of relationship

the faltering actions or knowledge of past

how can i describe the loneliness that moves around in its places

the light around edges of corners

how talking seems to be a mountain

how silence is an endless desert

and how it seems to fall short

like a bad attempt at a romantic dinner

like a joke that fails to land

and yet the sigh underneath my skin

somehow pushes me forward to believe

i can do more

i can give more

i can be there for you

#17

the smell of sewers emanating down the hallway to the pool

mixes with warm chlorinated water

a see through barrier the only defense against this oppressive odor

i can only imagine the horror of stepping out from the elevator

to find

to be hit with

cabbage-y smells that stimulate retching

and meanwhile

sedentary watching

barricaded by tropical scented lotions

and peace candles

the unsightliness somehow vanishes

as if never there

in its place the familiar mechanic scent of whirring

all is still and seemingly sanitary

#16

Ok, so I need to go out of order in order to make some headway with this poetry challenge. So be it.

 

the spaces in between

cause no rattle

no, the soft tissue wrapped

strong yet pliable

the rhythmic pulse

and a quiet whimper

more of a strained wheeze

though this sound is not typical

as the whimper fades away

a hum emerges matching the sound of horizons

and deep forest spaces

and places considered sacred

Poetic License

So the challenges do far…

Well, due to life circumstances, I scrapped the screenwriting challenge. I gotta do it one year though. I just have more poetry than narrative story in my head right now.

But the poetry challenge?! If you have been reading, I’m sure you can see the result. The prompts are a lot of fun and definitely help me stay out of my head too much.

Here’s the thing about poetry though that I’m realizing (at least when I write it). I like my poems to be scrappy and less than perfect. I like when they are simple and yet evocative. I like them to use bold, straightforward words that are about complex things. I don’t like them to be too flowery. And I really don’t want them to take a long time to write.

Not that taking your time and going over things is a bad thing. Like have you ever seen a Hawaiian feather cape or lei? So I intricate! I appreciate so much! To make this lei or cape you need feathers from a certain kind of bird. You don’t just go out and kill a bunch of these birds and take their feathers though. No! You let the birds live. You only take one or two so obviously in a cape of a certain size it’s going to take forever to make a cape like this.

It’s not that I don’t have that kind of patience. I just like to do a little bit sometimes and switch gears. One day I will attempt something longer and that takes years to create.

I’m trying to do my poems in order and sometimes the set-up is more involved. Like the one I’m on now involves other people, so it may be a while until I blast through that one.

I used to feel really sheepish about my poetry because I didn’t really ever learn specifically how to write it. I’m just doing it. Sometimes it comes out reasonable. Then I read like straight-up poets and I’m like WHY DID YOU DO THAT THIS IS SO GOOD MY WORDS ARE POLLUTING SPACE.

And then I’m like 🤷‍♀️ well idk

So I’ve decided it’s fine.

I’m sure the folks getting my posts emailed are like, “So why’s Barbara posting like a whole bunch of poems all today?” I finally got a couple minutes to just go. Does anyone ever listen to drum and bass? Because to me, what it feels like to write poetry, or what I strive for it to feel like is a steady beat with atmospheric blends, warm mids and a sometimes haunting baseline that always makes whatever melody comes out so much bigger than it seems. Far off outer space sounds and glitchy sound effects that sound like glitter and feel like deep sighs of relief.

NOW THAT is what poetry should feel like

(if you ask me)