begins with a long road
i picture myself lifted up floating
i know i can do this now!
and my vision pierces through light and dark
like an arrow that doesn’t land
there is no end
begins with a long road
i picture myself lifted up floating
i know i can do this now!
and my vision pierces through light and dark
like an arrow that doesn’t land
there is no end
to the way in which
despite the cuts from endless sources
the emerging growth
an interruption of thought
glimmers softly along your walk
please pay close attention
seeing the infinite landscape stretched out before me
cloud lines along the distant mountains
just a scribble on the paper
in purple bleeding ink
soaks into the page and down into where the mountain meets the water
can you see it in double vision?
as something from within your imagination, a picture within the mind
and as a blank page ready to be filled with the etchings
markings that represent a complex situation
state of being
relationship
dynamic
symbols and visualization meet together and form a reality
this is something understood to be real
to be felt and lived and experienced
a visual picture of the beauty we wish to see
wish to communicate
articulate
and the translate into words
into paintings
which have a life of their own that they contend with
there is nothing fake about the sun meeting the earth
it happens every day
sometimes you are fortunate enough
to see the synchronicity of wisps of clouds
weather bringing blue skies
cloudy skies
sometimes you are fortunate enough to see the moment when colors
where light collides and blends into itself
pink clouds
bright orange yellow sun in the sky peeks from behind dusty mountains
these are real things
real experiences
though you may think this is too beautiful to be real
here is the world
the world says to you every day
here i am
do you see me?
we look
we miss it sometimes
we try to take it in the best we can
we try to let it fill us
but there is so much more
and to call it fake would be a lie
to say it wasn’t real would negate so much
eons and eons
a lot of time goes into this
the stripes in the rocks don’t happen overnight
and the sun will look different tomorrow than it did today
there is nothing hard about this truth
and it’s not inconvenient
it just is
it will be whether we see it or not
like being blindfolded
and someone tells you
of the beauty that’s out there
and you’ve only seen that in dreams
and it’s hard to believe
to hold
even to picture
in your mind
what this way out could look like
for instance
are there people who don’t live like this?
who aren’t affected?
is a dream some place we can access?
where things are different?
i’m walking not with my eyes closed
but with a blindfold
and where is the point where
skepticism breaks
where a new reality really is possible?
yea…
i think most of the time
you’re not going to understand anything i’m talking about
this is me reflecting my experience
which is only slightly annoying
only slightly annoying because it’s slightly disappointing
only slightly disappointing because i suppose i just assume too much
i only assume too much –
like i’ve got high expectations
i suppose –
because i think we can do better
that’s not a bad statement
or even something to feel really ashamed about
it’s not a harsh judgement
it’s like
hey we can be better
it seems like a true starement
but i could be wrong
which is why when you don’t understand me
it’s like huh
how ’bout that…
well maybe i’m not saying this in a way that truly resonates
little things that seem like givens aren’t givens
i guess
it’s the strangest feeling
and you feel lonely about it occasionally
because maybe what you’re trying to communicate is too hard to understand
too complicated
maybe it’s way too out there
or implies that you are disconnected with reality
and i think hey that’s possible
anything’s possible
but then i’m like well some of this stuff i believe in or push people on
it’s good stuff
i think…
what if it’s more like —
we both can be better
like emphasize the we
that’d make it more palatable right
like because then i’m underlining
or maybe italicizing the important words to emphasize my intent
my intent beyond the words
because the words themselves can stand for so much
can signify one thing to you
another thing to me
something else to this person and-
ah fuck this
words do not communicate what you would like them to
do they
or maybe can you be hopeful
that if you talk around it
and alternatively get closer and farther away from
Meaning
that folks kinda get it
like looking through a crack in a fence
at a beautiful garden
i mean the garden’s nice, guys
i’m just saying…
there’s a point where the fiction and nonfiction begin to blur
cross over
into something
unreal
real
stories and words
that you can’t make you
they make up
a devisive narrative
confusing
twisting
contorting facts
looking in the mirror doesn’t seem like such a farse now
reflection is that what it is?
the confusion is palpable
like you could hold it in your hand
gelatinous sack of goo
i look at it like you look at a dirty bathroom
how do you even clean this shit?
like go for bleach or use the natural cleaning products
it’s not about being squeamish now
it’s beyond abstract art
or deconstructed piles of wood
am i looking at a tree?
i don’t even know how to tell the difference from the reality and the knock off one
yet here we are
capital of surrealism
and wondering
wandering
in half dream states
blurry at the edges
names you can’t remember
suddenly from the back of your mind they spring forward
and it’s like finding something on the ground that doesn’t match the setting
can it go the other way though?
can we find starlight on the sidewalk for when we need it?
like when our hearts need relief?
one day the stars looked down on you and gently
kissed your lips
it was like watching a pond filled with water
where drops from rain
all the sudden
dropped
and rippled out to the banks
where water meets earth
one night when all the animals slept so peacefully
i could hear you walking
it was only in my dreams
but i knew the sound that your clothing makes when it moves
i could hear as you tried to be quiet
as you tried not to wake me up
one day i woke up a heard birds that i’d never heard before
i saw life in another dimension
beyond 3-D
sometimes it’s so different
i think how it would be to go bak
but i can barely remember how it felt
to float
like being blindfolded
and someone tells you
of the beauty that’s out there
and you’ve only seen that in dreams
and it’s hard to believe
to hold
even to picture
in your mind
what this way out could look like
like are there people who don’t live like this?
who aren’t affected?
is a dream some place we can access
where things are different?
i’m walking not with my eyes closed
but with a blindfold
and where is the point where
skepticism breaks
where a new reality really is possible?