#14

a fox

in a moment of magic

little beams of light

to deeply connect to the world in a way others can’t

asks the question

which way to go

directions

asks itself

there is no fear of choosing the wrong way

the world is an opportunity

yes it walks

stepping into the uncomfortable space

to be resourceful

to figure out a way

all that abounds

is playful laughter

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#11

thank you

my little leaf

friend who chose

me as your messenger

of the beauty and

hope and

wonderful

surprises

my adventure

begins with a long road

i picture myself lifted up floating

i know i can do this now!

and my vision pierces through light and dark

like an arrow that doesn’t land

there is no end

Writing Progress

All right, so yesterday I finished a draft of my latest play, NANNA-SIN, inspired by the Ancient Sumerian myths of the god of the moon.

The story goes that two teens are the sole survivors of a village attack decimating their village. They make a pact to travel to the city capital to the temple of Nanna-Sin. One has a connection to the divine and the other seeks revenge. They cross paths with a priest in the House of Nanna-Sin, a lead orchestrator, who sees the potential to use their skill to make a political upheaval. The high priestess of Nanna-Sin is the one with the power, however misuses it to gain control over the people.

Anyway, without giving away the whole of it, which is what the reading on 10-14-17 at the EXIT Theatre is for (mark your calendars! 😉), I'm reflecting on a couple things I did differently this time around that I want to remember and perhaps expand on for next time.

You see, previously, my process of writing mostly involved swirling down the drain of imposter syndrome while simultaneously self-flagellating until the deed was done enough. After a recovery period of varying length, I'd say, "hmm there must be an easier way." But then, I'd return to the same old process and shrug that, "it must just be my process."

Well, how wrong I was about that! Here's some things I did differently this time:

1) Outline

Instead of diving into this good idea I had, I held myself to completing the outline. Well, at least 90-95% of it. The last 5-10% I was okay with coming up with in the process of writing out the script.

This helped SO much because when it came time to write, I didn't have to hold two different things "what happens next" and "what specifically they do or say in each moment" in my brain. I could get to the big story points and color in the details along the way.

The other thing was that if I discovered a new direction that didn't match up with a story point in the outline, it was easier to make a decision about what was the right way to go because I had choices. Not "this is the only thing at can think of"

Way more relaxing. Gotta do that again.

2) Collaboration and Constraints

I spoke with my director truthfully about where I was in the process and told her the story as I saw it.

A screenwriter friend recommended telling more stories as practice in… telling stories. I know, right? Like why did someone have to tell me this? But all I can say is that it wasn't obvious to me that doing this would have any positive impact on my storytelling abilities. Now it seems like a "duh" moment. Oh well, live and let learn.

So two aspects — talking through the story made me realize right away where I needed to work out some story holes and other challenges. For instance, one thing we acknowledged right away was that this story was way bigger than I had time allotted. So constraint #1, tell this epic story in 30 minutes and hit all the points. We talked through some ideas of how this could be possible. The story turns and transitions may be quick. I had it on my radar. Constraint #2, out of respect of my director's timeline and when she wanted to initiate rehearsals, it was going to be best if I finished by a certain date. Deadlines are always a good thing for me at least — though I am not nearly as good with self- imposed deadlines as when a deadline comes from someone else — especially if I'd be letting down another person or group by not fulfilling my end of the duty. Being on deadline gave me the ability to get it out despite it not being perfect. It made me make decisions that I couldn't worry too much about — should I really bring this element in or will people think that's hokey? Nope, gotta move on and get done.

3) Bring Yourself (Play to Your Strengths)

When you get into the nitty gritty of the story — this is where I shine once I'm in the flow. I knew I would be fine and could go for as long as I wanted once I got there. The outline and the deadline helped put a slight bit of pressure and narrowed the focus. Then, worries about what to say or how to transition from one thing to the next? Nah! I'm in the flow!

Flow Time!

And then everything is just calibrated to keep me up. Music helps me with my pace and to keep going. I personally prefer atmospheric dance music that doesn't have a lot of lyrics. Sounds strange, I'm sure, but there's something about moving my body to the beat that every so often helps me get back into it full force.

This story has a lot of ancient elements that I didn't know about — so research helped. Cool things that I learned like how the first author was a high priestess of Nanna-Sin. She wrote poetry and hymns. So interesting because when you read them, I was expecting more sort of exaltations of mystery but really there was a lot about being victorious in battle against their political enemies? Whoa, that could be useful. File that away for later.

And then there was the part where I had to just give myself creative freedom and say, ok I may not get this right the first time and that's ok. Like is it historically accurate? No, but if I invent something based on what I know, it will take less time. And then there were other elements I knew I were going to incorporate like the characters have metaphysical powers so it's like a parallel world where these kinds of powers were not thought possible but are.

Tons of solutions to try to figure out but ultimately I used what I had closest to me as a tool. So, in this story I brought in my influences from yoga, internal martial arts, and Hawaiian healing. Like there are healing chants/songs, a power that one can feel, physical protocols and methods. Is it representational of those things? Oh god no. My teachers or staunch practitioners of these systems would probably frown upon me if I did that. But look, I'm just playing. I can play with stuff and also practice it more traditionally too. No biggie. It made it fun to play in the world of the play.

4) Technique

There were things I did to negotiate between the largeness of the story and the amount of time allotted. For instance, there are some moments where I had to represent a complex idea — like simultaneous time with different space/characters or advancing one character's arch with not a lot of pages. And through the magic of the form, I remembered that I can run both at the same time. I can have two places represented at once on a stage. People have the ability to listen to a story being told by one character and understand another person on stage as a character in that story. There's a point later on that I'm particularly proud of too for its low-budget, high impact way of representing multiple worlds. I use what I know is available in most theater spaces to make the relationship representational in a 3D way.

All sounds conceptual, I know, and whether I was actually successful in clearly articulating what I meant remains to be seen, though at least I tried. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work and we can come up with something else.

It's All Been Done Before
And yet at the end of the day, it's all been done before. Someone else has written thousands maybe millions of stories with these elements. So it's not being created purely from scratch. Not when you think of it like that. Epic fantasy story that needs to be told in 30 minutes? A lot of cartoons do that successfully for multiple seasons!

There's something about the idea that if someone else figured out something remotely similar to what you're working on, it makes you (or me at least) feel like, ok well I can probably figure it out. At least an aspect of it! I mean I'm not trying to be a super amazing great writer all in one go, but, you know, occasionally people laugh at my jokes, think I represented a particular scene or moment in life well, or opened their eyes to a new perspective. Those things are all things that not just my mom and dad have told me.

😊

we see beyond

i look out and see beyond the horizon

i lift my head up to

face myself

face the world

facing with clarity

uncompromised  

honest about where i’m at 

i see now

i see me

i am not the villian i thought i was

and neither is the person before me

neither is the landscape before me

i am not the enemy

i look out and see faith

in this rests the belief in myself

my community

that anything is possible

that oneness

against the silence

knowing how to channel anger

removing desire before it turns to hate

standing against fear

looking it in the eye

my breath is so natural

you can see the sun come up

you can feel when the ground lifts and curves upwards to the sky

you can see past the horizon

all of us

standing

waiting

patiently waiting together

all i see is endless endless

all i see is horizon now

all i feel is clear air

all i see is 

endless endless 

stretching into forever 
all i see 

all i know

line blurred in the distance

can’t tell beginnings from endings

can’t tell sunlight from moonlight

radiating sunbeams 

stars twinkle into forever 

stars spin circuitous paths

and it goes on

air is so clear up here

can you feel it?

can you feel cold wind

on a warm summer’s day?

palms wave at you back and forth they sway

endless endless

the horizon

waves that stretch into beyond

become a flat glassy surface

roundness to the edges 

of everything i see

nothing is flat anymore

winding

and it goes and goes

clarity

inside

and in my head there is nothing

nothing

but whispers and softness

filling the void to the brim

with warm

i nod my head 

my silent song isn’t so silent anymore

all i see

all i see

is endless endless

stretched out before me

like a horizon

horizon

in the distance

we never know where land touches sky

we never know

as we stare off to the drift

new thoughts

an ache that releases

a pit deep seated and stuck

a mark way down 

hidden in between and under

in the center

an ache that releases

a light in a dark space

a dimness that becomes bright over time

like something flipped on a switch

an ache that releases

and with it 

tremendous movement comes

like a swirling tide

opening up possibility 

to new worlds

new lives

and as the stars settle into their places

moon shining bright overhead

and the birds cooing softly

as night drifts on

possibility

As she opened her eyes…

Dawn again. Sun rising once more. Clouds scattered into the far forever distance as if you could stretch across time and back again. In the moment it takes to breath in deeply, then she realized all was right. Countless possibilities deep into the horizon and as you looked to the curves of the earth, covered with trees. Breathing, swaying like this dance. Like a chorus, in this forest.

She thought about where she would go today. Forward, back, side– all were the same ultimately. So here another journey, each moment like a moving, transforming portrait. Each moment was the start of something new.

She sat, listening, as she did quite often. Doing the thing that was so natural to her. If she closed her eyes now, even during the day, the visions would tell her where to go. Alone, seemingly, yes, but not inside. Inside, it was like a million stars forming at any given moment. And each one speaking to her, directing her. Until in the last moment, in the very last one before movement, she decides. She moves.

She saw herself running

She saw herself sitting

She saw herself laughing

She saw herself admiring a bird

She sees infinitely beyond the veil

Beyond worlds

Beyond it all

Into something else.